A letter

This love I have for you – it’s hard to describe, yet easy to feel. It’s difficult to convey save for the actions of every day life. I don’t know how to tell you that I love you without making you uncomfortable or scaring you away. I suppose saying it isn’t really necessary, since giving the condition a name doesn’t change its qualities…however, I can’t help but feel there’s something to say about the inability to say it at all. I understand that receiving love, and loving someone in return, is terrifying. You’re not the sort to make yourself vulnerable and neither am I. Love makes you weak in a way, I guess you could say…but more importantly, it makes you strong. This is just one of the reasons that I love love, and love loving you in particular.

You seem to want a definition… yet I don’t have one. I will never have one. Love, at least to me, includes so many things that I don’t even know where or how to begin. Yet if you can’t just trust that you love someone – that you think of them more fondly than others in a peculiar way; admire them for the things that make them who they are and respect them for these very same attributes – then maybe you will never be able to love. Love is and will always be a leap of faith. Just like in life, there is no sure thing in love. You just have to trust. There is no answer – you just know. Yet there’s no way to ‘know’, especially if you pick it apart. Eventually love will be destroyed by all the prodding, analysing and dissection.

If there is any way to ‘know’ love – any sort of way to describe or define it – this is highly subjective. Love, at least to me, is selfless yet completely selfish. I love you for who you are and would do most anything for you if you needed me to. This selfless love is something quite gradual that grows as I get to know you better and catch glimpses of your innate, immutable qualities – your kindness, your integrity, your character. While human beings are continuously mutating creatures, I do believe that there are things in us that are tested by life and time, yet do not change. This is the foundation of a human being, maybe it’s the soul, I don’t know – but these are the very things that I see in you every day. I can’t help but love this girl who exhibits many of the qualities that I admire, and also hope to possess. Selfless love leads to selfish love. I also love you for my own sake – for how you improve my life by driving me to be kinder and more understanding; changing the way I see myself and the world; making me question and even strengthen my beliefs and values. Yet it’s also just as simple as the fact that you make me feel wonderful and help me enjoy life just a little more than I would without you.

I want to know what you think about love. I admit, I don’t understand why you shy away from love the way you do. I can’t help but think that the more one stresses over ‘knowing’ what love is, the more likely he will be to let it slip by. There is no way to ‘know’ other than by the standards you, and you alone, create for yourself. As I’ve already said, it’s a scary thing, but it is so worth the risk. And if you think of love, and if you think of possibly loving me – I hope you realize that there isn’t much risk involved.

I am sorry for bringing up something that obviously makes you uncomfortable, but I hope you can understand the position that I am in. I am nearly 20 years old, about to graduate from college, and am completely in love with a girl that I am not sure loves me in return, or even wants my love at all. Please don’t be mistaken – this is not an ultimatum, and my feelings for you won’t go away. I just want you to think about love. And possibly loving me. Or at least raising the issue of why you don’t love me, or why you are wary of love.

I truly believe that life is too short to let fly by without telling the important people in your life how you feel. That, in effect, is why I wrote this letter. I just hope that one day I have the courage to give it to you.

What makes life worth living?

What makes life worth living? Its a question no one can
understand and when I say no one I mean every living
person on planet earth. The fact behind this statement is
that we can never be fully satisfied with our present state.
We keep yearning for more, keep longing for better and
ignore the small happy moments that we might have
enjoyed, had not it been our continuous search for that
‘something’ we believe is making our life worth living. I
may sound confusing to the one reading this but my
experience of life so far has taught me the fact that if you
are not happy with your present you are not going to have a
pleasant future.
To a teenager his friends (including FB and watsapp of
course) makes his/her life worth living. To a mother seeing
his child smile can be the most satisfying thing. To a job
seeker cracking the interview in an MNC means the world to
him. Likewise for a lover, being with his/her beloved is the
only thing they yearn for all times. The e.g. list can be
endless because I find human beings to be very greedy and
lusty in terms of getting. This habit of having ALL and
losing NONE makes their life miserable.
What marks my point is if you are a person dearly and
madly in love with someone and circumstances leads you to
be getting separate with him/her, what will be your first
reaction. If you have raised your child against all odds,
facing such situations which no words can define and that
child is ashamed of even addressing you in front of his/her
friends what worst can happen to you. You prepared for an
interview with all your heart and soul and the job is given to
some one less deserving just because the interviewer didn’t
like your so called ATTITUDE, that will be end of the world
for you. Am I being paranoid about this losing situation?
May be I am. Let’s get back to the order side of the coin.
Having a child is one of the most satisfying as well as
toughest of things to happen to someone. Be happy about it
and prove that if you can teach a toddler his first word and
his first step, you are very much capable of raising your self
as well. Losing the most important job of your life will never
be the end of the world to you. That will be the end of one
opportunity which made you feel like a loser. Get up,
prepare again and hit the bull’s eye with more enthusiasm
and zeal. Prove to the world that failure is not about losing.
Rather it is about falling and refusing to get up again. For
lovers.. err… let’s move to a new paragraph.
While we are in love with someone no words are capable of
explaining how strong and weak you feel at the same
moment. You are able to conquer the world and at the same
time a small childish feeling kicks inside you when you are
in the company of that person. You can die for him/her, you
can leave the world for him, you can do any sacrifice. But
tables are turned when you two get separated, whatever the
situation might have been. You might feel like losing
everything. But there are some things which can still make
your life worth living. The very idea of love is complicated to
me. Love to me means being honest and open with
someone who accepts you at your worsts and bests. But
think about other people around you. Those people are your
family, your childhood buddies, your FB circle which likes
every status of yours, your friends who waits for you on
watsapp when you are in loo 🙂 Of course all this sound
rubbish when you are heart broken but for me making other
smile and finding happiness in it is the most satisfying
thing to do. And you need not to prove that you have moved
on, leaving your so called love behind. First love will
always be with you and it will always be that special but it
should be unconditional. At some point you have to realise
some people can live in your heart but not in your life.
Living is something makes your life worth living in itself.
No one can be as much important as your own self, be
selfish sometimes, make yourself happy. Make other people
smile as well. Its a two way process and happiness if the
most contagious disease in the world. If you are happy your
surrounding will always be lively. Life is a rare gift of God.
Parenthood, career and love are just a part of life not heart
of life.

Time In A Bottle

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I’d save every day like a treasure and then
Again, I would spend them with you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do, once you find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go through time with
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty, except for the memory of how
They were answered by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do, once you find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go through time with…

•manab

LOVE

“Only once in your life, I truly
believe, you find someone who can
completely turn your world around. You
tell them things that you’ve never shared
with another soul and they absorb
everything you say and actually want to
hear more. You share hopes for the
future, dreams that will never come true,
goals that were never achieved and the
many disappointments life has thrown at
you. When something wonderful
happens, you can’t wait to tell them
about it, knowing they will share in your
excitement. They are not embarrassed to
cry with you when you are hurting or
laugh with you when you make a fool of
yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings
or make you feel like you are not good
enough, but rather they build you up and
show you the things about yourself that
make you special and even beautiful.
There is never any pressure, jealousy or
competition but only a quiet calmness
when they are around. You can be
yourself and not worry about what they
will think of you because they love you
for who you are. The things that seem
insignificant to most people such as a
note, song or walk become invaluable
treasures kept safe in your heart to
cherish forever. Memories of your
childhood come back and are so clear
and vivid it’s like being young again.
Colours seem brighter and more brilliant.
Laughter seems part of daily life where
before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at
all. A phone call or two during the day
helps to get you through a long day’s
work and always brings a smile to your
face. In their presence, there’s no need
for continuous conversation, but you find
you’re quite content in just having them
nearby. Things that never interested you
before become fascinating because you
know they are important to this person
who is so special to you. You think of
this person on every occasion and in
everything you do. Simple things bring
them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle
wind or even a storm cloud on the
horizon. You open your heart knowing
that there’s a chance it may be broken
one day and in opening your heart, you
experience a love and joy that you never
dreamed possible. You find that being
vulnerable is the only way to allow your
heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real
it scares you. You find strength in
knowing you have a true friend and
possibly a soul mate who will remain
loyal to the end. Life seems completely
different, exciting and worthwhile. Your
only hope and security is in knowing that
they are a part of your life.”

© manab