If Hollywood Movies Had Bollywood Endings, This Is How They Would Be

The two biggest cinematic forces of nature –
Bollywood and Hollywood – can together boast of
providing us with some of the most entertaining
films ever. Both Bollywood and Hollywood have
got their own set of formulas when it comes to
churning out movies by the hundreds. But ask
any Bollywood fan and he’ll admit that there is
more than a generous amount of “inspiration”
Bollywood gets from Hollywood. So, what if we
turned the tables and imagined a scenario where
famous Hollywood movies had typical Bollywood
style endings!

1. Her
Theodore Twombly becomes so heartbroken at
the loss of Samantha that he visits the nearest
temple on a stormy night and cries his heart out.
Suddenly, the temple bells start ringing on their
own, and from behind the idol appears Samantha
in a human form. They kiss on the forehead and
live happily ever after.

2. The Dark Knight Rises
After the explosive fight where Batman saves the
city, he proceeds to have an upbeat romantic
number with Catwoman in a meadow somewhere
in Switzerland where they both run from opposite
sides into each other’s arms.

3. The Wolf of Wall Street
Jordan Belfort, despite all his drug episodes and
his misadventures, will realise, five minutes before
the closing credits roll that his lifestyle was
against his culture. In a moving scene, he
apologises to his wife, wins her back and the
movie finishes with a wide angle shot of the
entire cast standing next to each other and
laughing for no apparent reason.

4. Gravity
George Clooney runs into a dozen South Indian
thugs in outer space, probably led by Prakash
Raj. They try to kidnap Sandra Bullock but
Clooney kicks their ass, saves her and survives
the entire movie.

5. Inception
The climax will be in the form of a narration,
voiced by Amitabh Bachchan of course, which
explains in the simplest terms the storyline of the
entire movie. Because there’s no bigger crime
than making a movie that the “aam junta” cannot
understand.

6. Titanic
Jack braves the freezing water and swims across
the entire ocean whilst dragging Rose along –
singlehandedly mind you – to safety. During the
closing credits they will both be seen getting
groovy on the dance floor to a Honey Singh
number.

7. Schindler’s List
Schindler tries to be the passive good guy till the
very end until he realises that being nice is for
wussies. He then defeats 50 Nazis with his bare
hands in an epic Rohit Shetty-style climactic
fight.

8. Forrest Gump
Forrest Gump comes across a brilliant NRI doctor
who magically “cures” him. He transforms from
the naive simpleton to a smart, dapper muscled
up hero. And yes there will be a dance sequence
at the end where girls are going gaga over Forrest
Gump.

9. Transformers
Somewhere along the heated rivalry between the
Autobots and the Decepticons, Optimus Prime
falls in love with Megatron’s daughter. At the end,
their true alien machine love proves to both
parties that there are no differences that love
can’t sort out.

10. Pirates of the Carribean
Right at the end Captain Jack Sparrow will reveal
that he is an undercover cop working for the CBI
sent to investigate the treasure smugglers!

11. Harry Potter
Voldemort, the hard-hearted tormentor of
Hogwarts sees the error of his ways thanks to a
dozen violin-led songs and dance numbers led by
Harry Potter. He ultimately forgives himself for the
loss of his daughter who was once married to
Harry Potter.
(Yes, like Mohabattein)

12. The Passion of the Christ
The climax will be an item number during which
all the Romans are kept incredibly busy. Jesus
escapes during this time and takes revenge on all
the bad guys!

13. Basic Instinct
It is revealed at the end that Sharon Stone is
actually a misunderstood woman with a heart of
gold who got into bad company to support her
ailing father, her bedridden mother and her two
spinster sisters. Michael Douglas marries her and
lives happily ever after.

14. Twilight
Well, it’ll pretty much stay as it is.
scoopwhoop

© manab

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